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You May Be a UPS Driver If............
 You watch the clock at work hoping you have more time left to work rather than less.
You think Christmas is a 4 letter word.
Putting on a brown shirt makes you feel like Superman.
You start to yawn when your friends talk about the high cost of their health insurance.
You can't talk to anyone for over a minute without turning and starting to walk away.
You can eat with your fingers no matter how dirty your hands are.
You drink two gallons of water a day in the summer and never have to go to the bathroom.
You get off work before 6 o'clock and it feels like you had the afternoon off.
Your favorite day in the neighborhood is trash day.
You have more brown pens at home than silverware.
You take the family on a road trip and make the kids to pee in cups so you don't have to stop.
When you see a brown truck on the street you immediately begin to critique the driver's methods.
The Road to Retirement
I'm counting down the days and it's amazing how fast the time is going. It's already June and I have less then 3 months left....July, August and then Sept. 19 and I'm outta there. I can't submit my appication until next month in the meantime all I can do is think about it. It should be the happiest days of my life but....it scares me to death.
All the years I've spent dreaming about retirement it's always been from the postion of having a job and a paycheck every Friday. I've imagined myself traveling at leisure or working a summer at Coors Field for the Rockies or just not doing much of anything, but when the fantasy was over I still had a job in my pocket. I still had plenty of money and free health insurance. It's been a long time since I
 had to scrimp on money. Almost 30 years. As my retirement rapidly approaches, I get this reality check occasionally that says things are going to change. I'll have less income, I'll have to pay for my insurance, I won't have any dental insurance, there may not be enough money every month.
That feeling is getting more real all the time and it's scary. I've told everyone I'm leaving on Sept. 19 and it's not like I can go back if it doesn't work out. I'm jumping off the high board and I'm going to hit the water, like it or not.
Some people think I'm crazy to retire in the Fall. "Why not go another Peak?" they say. "Then take 7 weeks vacation and walk away." It's tempting. It's a lot of money. Work another 3 months and get an $8500 bonus. But those 3 months are Hell. I don't want to do another Peak season and I wrestle with that old demon; weighing the bullshit and the benefits.
I need to focus on the reason we all dream about retirement. It's about starting a new life. One that doesn't involve working till 7 o'clock everynight. One that gives me the opportunity to stay home on the coldest and snowiest of days. One where I have control of my life instead on a corporation telling me to hit the groung running. Yes there will be less money, but there will be more of something else. Something that is becoming more important to me than money.
Time.
Overheard In the Locker Room
You hear a lot of good stories in the locker room. People often talk a little more freely because management isn't around. Here are some things I have overheard in the past 30 years. I call locker room gossip the naked truth. But I really can't say if this is truth or rumor. You decide.
 Management thinks that when things go right, it's because they had the right plan. When things go wrong, it's because the drivers didn't do their jobs.
Bad drivers make bad supervisors.
UPS claims that quality service is the key to success but won't fix the preload which is the foundation of the operation. They talk quality but practice mediocrity.
A hostile work enviroment is UPS's trademark in labor relations. We all know it, they all deny it. It's a bad joke.
Management used to say we should "be looking over our shoulders because that FedEx truck is coming to take our jobs." But we all know that the real threat to our jobs comes from within. It's UPS we need to be looking over our shoulders for.
The job isn't any safer today than it was 10 years ago. UPS just wants OSHA to think it is. TAW is a program designed to hide the number of lost time injuries. They make you come in and work when you should be home recuperating. It's not conducive to healing. It's punishment for getting hurt.
UPS got some news they didn't want to hear last year on the ERI survey and never said another word about it. They didn't followup on any of the results, didn't try to find out why the numbers are going down or why people are unhappy. They like to rev their engines when the numbers are good, but don't want to do a tune up when the numbers go in the tank.
They treat us like bad children and expect us to act like responsible adults.
I wouldn't say that all conservatives are stupid, but I think that most stupid people are conservative.
Management is so scared of the people upstairs that it stifles new ideas and growth. To not lockstep with the manager above you is thought to be suicide. The system insures a long career for the "yes man".
Why should I try to get new accounts when I'm working 10 hours a day now? Do they really think I believe they will reduce my hours if the volume picks up?
Holy War at UPS
There is a holy war brewing at UPS. The hostilities flare up every summer and fester like an in-grown toenail. A podiatric jihad of sorts. Many of us feel it’s high time someone put their foot down.
UPS started the war on May 1, 1994, when, after 87 years of stonewalling, they finally agreed to give us shorts; but told us we had to buy the socks that go with them. And they said you can’t buy just any socks, you have to buy authorized UPS socks and there is only one place you can get them. If you don’t toe the line and buy official UPS socks, you have to sweat it out all summer in long pants.
 No one really knows why we have to pay for UPS socks. Our contract says that the company will supply the uniform. I know a lot of drivers who refuse to give in and buy new socks. They wear their old holy socks summer after summer with religious fervor.
In a brave act of defiance, drivers often resort to cutting off the toe ends of their socks and pulling the heel and top up over a good pair of socks. Everything showing out of the shoe looks legal, but it’s really a façade.
One Spring I pulled my socks and shorts out of mothballs to get them ready for summer and all the elastic had dried up in the tops of the socks. I pulled a pair on and the tops were about 4 inches bigger than my legs. These are not high quality socks. These are the quality of socks a company sells when they know you can’t get the socks anywhere else.
Cintas is the only place I know to get UPS socks. They run at least $6 a pair and they aren’t very high quality. I recently tried to order some and found they were temporarily out of stock. I wore my old holy ones another month. When they finally got some in and sent them to me: guess what? I washed them and the logos fell off. They were glued on instead of being stitched. That's cheap!
If UPS was footing the bill for the socks (like they should), I know they would pay less per pair than they are forcing us to pay. But they’ve locked us into a bad deal where we are not allowed to shop for quality or price and I resent it. I don’t know a driver who wears shorts who doesn’t feel that the company stuck it to us on the socks.
The holy war rages on.
Follow the Money
Have you ever wondered where UPS puts its money during an election year? Who do they give money to and how much, is it all Republicans, do they play both sides of the fence? Here is website which tracks political contributions.
 The Center for Responsive Politics is a non-partisan, non-profit research group based in Washington, D.C. that tracks money in politics, and its effect on elections and public policy. The Center conducts computer-based research on campaign finance issues for the news media, academics, activists, and the public at large. The Center’s work is aimed at creating a more educated voter, an involved citizenry, and a more responsive government.
This website has a wealth on information. It's mind boggling to read how much money flows into politics. First, check out the Top 100 Donors, ranked by how much they give, and see whether their contributions favor the Republicans or the Democrats. You'll see that UPS ranks 21st in total donations since 1989 and FedEx ranks 12th. It's interesting that the number 2 giver, the Nat'l Assoc. of Realtors, gives equally to both parties.
Of course this money does not come right out of UPS's profits, this is PAC money. By following some of the links provided on the site, you can read just what PAC money is. You can also see how much soft money UPS spends.
It is interesting to read the brief analysis of UPS, how they parcel out their money and how they compete in this area with FedEx. Note that UPS has switched it's party affiliation from favoring the Democrats in the early 1990's to supporting the Republicans. Is it a change of politcal philosophy or do they to which ever party is in power? With the Republican party appearing to be on the ropes, who will they support this year?
Every woman should have a blog
and in every blog should be a few words about their UPS man.
I Remember When
I remember when I started at UPS at 22 years old. ( My son is 28 now, born 4 years after I started there.)
I remember the first time I noticed Union dues being deducted from my check. (They didn’t have to tell you it was a union job in those days.)
I remember the first time I was yelled at for being too productive and making my pick ups too early. ( Hasn’t happened since.)
I remember writing everything down on paper. (It was hell in the rain.)
I remember when there was no such thing as Driver Release and getting signatures at every stop, business and residential.
I remember trying to indirect all residential stops when the customer wasn’t home. (You were taught to scan the entire street for signs of life.)
I remember getting yelled at for lousy handwriting and the effort to have a handwriting school.
I remember being taught to start the truck, flip off the emergency brake, and pull away before putting on the seat belt. (You would get a warning letter today.)
I remember “Knobbing”. (Those of you that remember what that is will laugh. Those of you that don’t, don’t need to know what it is. It’s an “old UPS guy” thing.)
I remember when the “old guys” in the center had been around for 5 or 6 years.
I remember when there were very few women that worked for UPS in any capacity other than clerical.
I remember when the Commerce City Hub had 3 total box lines, 12 unload doors, and 6 outbound belts to service the entire Metro area, and about 2/3 of the state.
I remember when the pig farms still were odiferous on a hot summer night in Commerce City. ( The farmer used to haul dump truck loads of old stale bread still in the wrappers to feed the pigs.)
I remember when there were no nine and a half hour restrictions, and you just worked every day till you were done. ( There also were no eight hour requests. You worked it or quit.)
I remember running to the door to make a delivery, and trying to get back to the truck while it was still rocking on the emergency brake.
I remember the very first P-500 ever brought to the Denver Metro area. (There were only 600’s and 800’s before that.)
I remember when all of the trucks had plywood bulkhead doors, and you would get splinters under your finger nails. The company tried to keep a new coat of gray paint on them.
I remember when there were three drivers that ran from the western edge of Lakewood/Littleton to western Fairplay near Salida. (Two of us still drive for UPS and one is still on a portion of his area. 300 miles was not uncommon in those days.)
I remember when the Local fired our business agent. We fired our local of that time. Hasn’t happened since.
I think remembering doesn’t get harder as you get older. I think there are so many more things to remember and you just reach maximum capacity.
The Old Guy
What Brown did for Bronson
A Maysville woman discovered what the United Parcel Service slogan "What can brown do for you?" really means when a UPS driver became the key to bringing her beloved but lost pet bulldog home.
Shelby Shires had been searching for the stocky bulldog since an incident on March 2. Her dog, named Bronson, was startled on Hillcrest Drive and ran away from her.
She notified every agency she could think of including area veterinary offices, the Humane Society of Buffalo Trace and police agencies and even ran an advertisement in the newspaper and on the radio.
After nearly a month of searching, Bronson appeared to be gone for good. Or at least that's what Shires thought.
That changed on April 1, when Deron Johnson was making his normal rounds driving his UPS truck.
While Johnson was delivering packages on Edgemont Drive, Bronson took up residence in Johnson's truck.
"Deron said he would not get out of the truck; like he knew the delivery truck would get him home," Shires said.
 Bronson had evidently lost his collar, which contained his identification information, during his month-long adventure, Shires said.
Unsure who the stubborn canine belonged to, Johnson stopped at Bas and Luanne Mattingly's home and asked for help. It took both men to get Bronson off the delivery truck, but they still had a problem. Bronson had retreated to a spot under the truck and refused to come out.
"This prompted a call to Rebecca Cartmell of the Humane Society, and she knew who the owner was," said Shires.
With some coaxing, the men managed to get Bronson from beneath the truck and into Mattingly's car for his ride home to Shires.
Only Bronson knows what happened in his 30 days lost.
Wendy Mitchell
UPS's New Telematics System
At UPS, there's data everywhere: on the packages that get delivered. On the drivers, who carry handheld computers to record customer interactions. And on those ubiquitous brown trucks.
It's only recently, however, that the company found value in connecting those data sets to each other.
Those brown UPS vehicles actually contain a wealth of data drawn from more than 200 sources housed inside the trucks: sensors in the engines gathering data on vehicle speeds, RPMs, oil pressure and engine temperature. In addition, other sensors track the number of times a truck goes in reverse, what doors are open and when, the time the truck spends idling, and how and when the seatbelt is being used. Just to name a few.
Then there is data about customer interactions. UPS is known for religiously tracking all kinds of customer interaction data (captured via the drivers' handheld DIAD devices) and has accumulated tons of historical data over the years. This includes such things as: addresses that have been delivered to, where and when pick ups have occurred, and any types of customer interactions.
 In addition, GPS devices installed in UPS's fleet of trucks a couple of years ago, which let dispatchers more efficiently route deliveries and helps lost drivers, records precise mapping data, such as street names, addresses and latitudinal and longitudinal information.
"There's just a slew of data coming out all the time," says Jack Levis, a manager in UPS's industrial engineering group. While certainly vast, these individual data sets, however, had no real connection to each other. "There's just this pile of data that means nothing to anybody." But, Levis says, as these things typically happen at UPS, several years ago two UPS employees wondered what automotive and operational insights could be derived from marrying the three disparate data sets.
After months and months of experimentation and research, UPS's telematics program was born. ("Telematics is a big word," Levis says, "but it just means a computer is gathering data.") To the researchers, the telematics application would paint a very detailed picture of a truck's and its driver's day together.
The operations analysts comb through the data to see where, for example, UPS delivery personnel may be driving unnecessary miles on their routes, in addition to finding other efficiency patterns and safety trends. Naturally, Levis and his team need to ensure that when they present the telematics analysis to the drivers, they do it in a way that is helpful and educational.
"Nobody wants to hear that a computer is going to tell them what to do or point out every fault they have," Levis says. "And if you approach it like that you'll have resistance."
Levis says as the pilot expands out this year to 10 more areas in the United States and one in Canada, the telematics program will keep on learning and offering up new insights. "We've just scratched the surface on finding things," he says.
Thomas Wailgum
UPS in the News
 Coon Rapids, MN -- A Twin Cities father who was severely beaten and robbed spoke out about that attack on Monday. The victim showed his injuries, including a severely swollen face, two black eyes and cuts on his lips, which was enough to scare anyone. His local neighborhood has offered support and help. Friends have fixed his roof, and since he's a UPS driver, companies on his route have offered to assist him any way they can.
Hartford, NC -- When 83-year-old Helen Long left her North Carolina home without notice last January, her daughter called state police.
The police alerted the community using automated road signs and radio and television ads that aired descriptions of Long and her truck and explained that she had dementia. Within six hours, a UPS driver spotted her vehicle, called for help, and Long was returned home unharmed.
Maysville, FL -- A 29-year-old Lakeland man was killed Thursday night when his motorcycle was struck by a tractor-trailer on Combee Road.
According to the Polk County Sheriff's Office, the victim was southbound on Combee Road just south of County Road 542 about 8:10 p.m. when his 2003 Harley Davidson motorcycle crossed the center line and entered the path of a northbound UPS tractor-trailer.
The UPS tractor-trailer left the roadway in an attempt to avoid a collision with the motorcycle, but the motorcycle struck the left rear axle of the trailer, ejecting Olney, who died at the scene.
Oakland, CA -- A crash involving a big-rig and a UPS truck on northbound I-880 south of the Broadway off-ramp just after 7 a.m. this morning has been cleared.
The accident occurred after the UPS truck hit an object in the roadway and pulled over. A big-rig rear-ended the UPS vehicle, then another big rig hit the pileup blocking the lane.
 Cherokee County, SC -- An Upstate man died after a cable barrier failed to stop a tractor trailer from crashing into the opposite lane of traffic on Thursday.
Highway patrol reports a driver of a UPS truck ran off the right side of the roadway, overcorrected and then crashed through the cable barrier. Investigators say the UPS truck T-boned an oncoming car.
Columbus, OH -- One person was injured Monday after a tractor-trailer went through a guardrail on Interstate 70 and down an embankment before coming to a rest on a road below, NewsChannel 4 reported. The United Parcel Service semi reportedly swerved in a westbound lane of I-70 near Mound Street to avoid a car and ended up going off the road and down the embankment.
"We were in the house and heard this noise and knew there was an accident," a witness said. "We came out and saw this truck sitting down here. One lady had a plastic trash bag and she asked me if I could tie a tourniquet around his leg because his foot was almost off. I did, and he seemed to be in pretty good spirits. He was mostly concerned about calling his work and calling his wife."
San Francisco, CA -- A women says she and her 16-month-old son were carjacked Thursday at a red light in Cotati. She reported the attacker forced himself behind the wheel of her vehicle and took off on Highway 101 at speeds of up to 100 miles an hour. She says she screamed for help, but no one came to her aid.
Finally, the car crashed near the Rohnert Park expressway. That's when a UPS driver saw something suspicious and came over. She says the driver reached into her car, and pulled her son -- seat and all -- to safety.
 Muskegon, MI -- A driver for United Parcel Service faces a charge of illegal entry after he reportedly walked around inside a house in Sullivan Township Tuesday, frightening a teen-age resident.
A 17-year-old female resident told Muskegon County Sheriff's deputies the driver first rang the doorbell, which she did not answer, and then made several attempts to enter the dwelling before finding an unlocked rear door. The girl, who said she was scared, told police she had been instructed not to respond to the doorbell unless she knew the person.
The girl said she hid behind a chair as the man walked through the kitchen area, down a hallway and then back to where he entered the split-level home.
Silverthorne, CO — A Sunday comic called "Somewhat County" has ended a 10-year run in Colorado's Summit Daily News.
The paper said cartoonist Scott Bullock -- who plans to do "other creative things" such as painting -- is a former ad-agency illustrator now working as a United Parcel Service driver.
The UPS job helped Bullock hear about things that he would put in his comic.
Halfway to Christmas
What Did You Get Your UPS Driver Last Year?
 Can anyone explain the me the reason for tipping your mailman or UPS driver? It is their job and they are fairly well paid, including amazing benefits and perks like health insurance and paid vacations. Is it to stay in good standing with him so he can do little favors for you during the year? Is it a way to say thank you? But why thank someone who is doing their job.
Nothing. Nor did I buy for the garbage lady or the mailman or the snowplow driver or the local sheriff.
For throwing packages on my porch, hitting the bell and hauling a$$? Nothing, he's not my employee.
Since all of our mail and packages are delivered to a clubhouse, nothing. When I had a regular UPS driver that I actually saw, I would give him a tin of cookies.
I think there is something about mailman and other government workers about accepting cash or how much of a gift they are allowed to receive (and I always thought it was minimal).
It would never occur to me to get someone who is doing their job of delivering packages a Christmas gift.
 My garbage hauler and recycle guy actually left printouts with their names and addresses where they wanted their tips / gifts mailed to them. No way. And my newspaper barely made it to my yard before I cancelled it. Sometimes I got a partial paper. It is ridiculous. And the UPS guy and the garbage haulers make more money than me.
My UPS guy is a really nice man. He always puts small packages in between my storm door and the main door and he even picks up the weekly town paper or any newspaper that may be lying on my porch or driveway. He sticks them in the door too. Then he rings the bell and goes. So I will give him a card with $20.00 in it. I know his name, but I will wait til I catch him 'cause I'd rather give it to him personally, to make sure he gets it.
Absolutely positively nothing but job security. The mailman is someone who has been on our route for years and years really goes out of his way to help us out, and is someone we basically know anyway. He got a Starbucks card to say thanks. The other delivery people? I have no idea who they are and it is always someone different anyway.
My UPS guy gets a holiday gift card tip (after he returns to the regular route after the New Year), because he always takes such good care of me. We have a pre-arranged signal that signifies when I am traveling -- and he brings packages around back where no one will see them. If it's a heavy package, he hefts it all the way into the LR.
I got mine a gift card for subways.
This year, I'm giving my UPS driver--he is great!!!---the YakTrax. You get a set of 2 prs, and I've already worn my pair, and they are teriffic--they really work; I didn't slide at all. (1 pr for me & 1 pr for him: win-win!) In the past, I've also given him Artic 180's Ear Warmers--he loved them!
I have a home business that receives at least 2 deliveries a week and I do shop on line often. I have a decorative bin on my porch to hold most items ( and yellow bags!). I put a $20 restaurant gift card in an envelope and taped it to the inside of the bin. I wrote "For my regular UPS driver" on the envelope.
It took several deliveries before the card was taken, and a UPS thank-you card left.
For the past few years we've given mine (and his X-mas helper) a bottle of booze.
I've never met him - but my husband and him have become buddies beings my husband is often in the yard when he comes. (flaggin him by, haha)
UPS guy invited us to a pig roast last summer. hahaha. How bad is that?
$20--mine is great!
Restaurant gift card that can be used at many of the chains.
QVC Forum
Eternal Life at UPS
Shame on UPS
Yesterday, our baby furniture was delivered. We purchased a changing table and a crib. Finally, our baby room is coming together.
When the UPS guy delivered our furniture, he had two sketchy looking men with them. They looked disheveled and unclean. And I’m sorry, but living in Harlem you have to be more alert to potential danger. What was my wife, home alone and pregnant, supposed to think?
 My wife looked through the peephole and asked “Who Is It?” The UPS guy said “UPS.” After explaining, it turns out the UPS guy found two kids on the street and gave them a buck each to carry the furniture the 3 flights to our apartment.
What if these guys were dangerous? What if these guys saw our flat-screen television and decide to come back later? What if the two men broke the furniture? There are so many reasons why this is in appropriate.
While the two men lugged the furniture in, the UPS guy was talking on his cell phone to some friend about the night before. When the two men were finished, the UPS guy asked my wife to give them a tip. The nerve.
Your UPS man may be "hot," but he may also be dumb. My wife is lodging a formal complaint with UPS.
Minor Fast Days
Appetite for the Cosmos: The UPS Delivery Guy
I don't know about your UPS delivery guy, but our UPS guy delivers during dinner. A sure time to get people at home. But unlike dinner-interrupting telemarketers, at least the UPS delivery guy has a package for you at the end of the intrusion of your family time.
Our UPS guy recognized me early on. "Are you the guy I saw on the news last night?" Apparently, our guy is a science buff and watches all the programming that PBS and Cable television can send him -- the Science Channel, the Learning Channel, National Geographic, NOVA. There is no stopping him.
 You could never gauge this level of curiosity from his personality. He is polite, soft-spoken, almost timid. And even though he may have, hidden behind him, an entire handcart of undelivered packages, if I answer the door, he will spend a slow ten minutes just asking questions about a television program he just saw, or a book he just read, or a cosmic event he just heard about. One of his favorite subjects is the status of Pluto's planethood.
The way this unfolds, you would think that each UPS delivery to my door was the guy's last. I am certain he would spend more time (how much remains to be tested), but I am always the one to cut him off because I don't want my dinner to get cold, and surely the other people in the building would welcome their packages sooner rather than later, and I'd bet his family would welcome his early arrival home that night. But who am I to judge the cosmic passions that burn within. I can only serve them, whenever and wherever they arise.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
When You Think You've Seen Everything...
Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes a site like this one. Urinals. All kinds of urinals from all around the world. And guess what? It even shows some of the urinals at UPS facilities in the San Francisco area. So if you've ever wondered what it would be like to take a whiz at work in San Francisco (and I know you have), then give it a look.
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June 2008
