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Doing it in Denver
Well, it's been another wild month at UPS in Denver. The month started out with management moving our start time later because they said the preload needed more time to get wrapped. Of couse the preload still isn't getting wrapped and we now have less time to get our NDA off by 10:30 and they are giving warning letters for late air. The idea of starting the preload earlier instead of starting the drivers later hasn't occurred to them yet.
Someone raised the question in the PCM last week as to why his stop count min/max fluxuates every day. Some days it's 85/95 and the next day it can be 115/125. How can that be? The answer was that the computer is smarter than we are and don't ask so many questions. Your job is to deliver packages, not reinvent the wheel. That answered his question.
We got a few words of wisdom from our new supe. He asked if anyone knew how to sheet a NDA that someone gives you after the commit time and says they want to refuse it. How can you sheet it without it showing as a late air? The answer: sheet it as a driver followup...package found. That's creative.
 We are being threatened with warning letters now if we don't run our pickups within 15 minutes before or after the set pickup time. Threats and intimidation are the only tools of leadership required anymore at UPS it seems. It's a shame because anyone can lead by bullying the workforce, that doesn't take any skill and it lowers the quality of managment. But UPS seems to be having a hard time getting management people in operations. It used to be that supervisors were promoted
from the driving ranks. No drivers want to be management anymore and IE supplies a lot of these new lower quality supervisors now.
I got a message across my board last week that chastised me for not using smalls bags for my pickups. I replied that I use tote boxes. I find them easier and safer to use. Smalls bags are slippery on the floor and hard to fill. I asked if that was OK and never got a response. If I'm doing something wrong, we really need to have a conversation about it, don't just call me a screw up and walk away.
As the stock goes in the toilet ($59 last week), Corporate is reporting that they will control the problem by growing the business and lowering costs. The first cost they usually look to lower is labor and that means more work per car and fewer cars. We've been doing pretty good with our 9.5s, even though 3/4 of the routes that go out each day are ninefivers and management is just pulling their hair out trying to cut cars and keep us under 9.5. Some drivers are working 11 to 12 hours a day and I occasionally
get one of those days myself. I'm not the run and gun guy that I used to be and when it gets to be about 7 o'clock at night I find myself getting tired and hungry. I have heard management say many times how important it is to take your lunch not only because it's contractual but also because it's a safety issue. You need the break at noon to collect your thoughts and recharge your mental batteries. But I've never heard them say that after working another 7 hours that at 8 o'clock you should stop for supper for the same reasons. I do stop for supper if I'm out after 8, I just can't
go that long without eating. But I wonder why it's a safety issue after the first 4 hours but not considered a problem after the second 4 or 5 or 6 hours?
Another safety issue came to light when I attended a safety meeting last month. The lady giving the training told the story of a driver who was reaching up over his head to close the bulkhead door as an example of putting yourself in a position to get injured. He needed to stand up, plant his feet, close the door, then sit back down and start the engine and drive off. I questioned at what point in the methods do we find ourselves sitting at the controls ready to go and the bulkhead door is open? That should never happen.
Maybe she was just making up that scenario. Perhaps a more real problem is the driver who runs around with his bulkhead door open and when he make a left turn it wants to slam and he tries to catch it with his right hand and sometimes it just about pulls his arm off. But wait, that can't be it either because we don't make left turns anymore, I read that in the newspaper. Most recently in our own
Rocky Mtn. News. This was a good article because when they interviewed the dipatcher in Glendale Center he said the purpose of Package Flow Technology is simple. "The ultimate goal of this thing is to reduce his miles and increase his stops,".
The increased stops part they have accomplished but when do the miles decrease? Is it on that one-day-a-month when you don't have any misloads?
One thing is for certain, the Teamsters got a good contract for the drivers out of UPS just in time. I would not want to be negotiating for pay increases this summer with diesel fuel at $5 a gallon and UPS missing their 2nd quarter profit projections. It would be a hard sell to convince the company that they should pay us more and continue to give us free insurance.
Better times may be just around the corner, I just hope it's not a left turn.
The Road to Retirement
My countdown clock on July 1 will be down to about 80 days. It's going down fast. People keep asking me "Are you still going to do it?" and I'm not sure why they ask me that. Is there something I don't know? Should I be having second thoughts? Should I be looking forward to another Peak Season?
The thing about retiring is that there is never a perfect time to do it. I've heard some of my fellow drivers saying they wouldn't retire with the economy like this. Or they won't retire until they have enough money so that they never have to work another day in their lives. The guys I feel sorry for are the ones who want to retire but have several children under the age of 18. The insurance is a pretty good deal at $200 per person, but if you have a wife and 3 kids, then you are looking at
$1000 a month in health insurance. Ouch. That is probably still great insurance for the money, but it's just too much money to try to come up with when you are retired.
 I sent for a Summary Plan Description (SPD) of the Retiree's Health Insurance. It's easy enough to do, you call 1-800-353-9877. You put in your pin number or you request one and they send it to you in the mail and then you call again.
Once you have your pin number you can access the menu and if you simply follow the prompts to get an SPD then they will send you the SPD of the plan you are on now. That's not what you want. So stay on the line through the menu and talk to a real person.
Ask that person for the SPD for retirees. It will come in the mail.
They sent my SPD to my house but in someone else's name. That was a little unnerving but if Guillermo Ramirez-Dunlap is out there, I hope you got mine, cause I got yours. The 24 page description of the plan explains in pretty common English who is eligible, when the coverage begins and ends, what's covered, the prescription plan and so on. It's not exactly a romance novel, but good bathroom reading.
On the up side, my plans for exiting had been to make Sept. 19 my last day on the job and then go on 3 weeks vacation, ending with my official retirement date of Oct. 12. I was told in my conversations with my retirement case worker in Atlanta, that UPS does not pay a partial month, nor do they pay out the rest of the month in which you retire. So I would not get my first check until Nov. 1 and it would be for November and I would go from Oct. 12 until Nov 1 with no income. I had planned to do it that way because I have to get 40 weeks or better yet,
1801 hours to qualify for a pension year and get my 30 years and not just 29.
But....I also requested an hours search from UPS showing how many hours I have worked each week so far in 2008. You can get a pretty good picture of this just by looking at your paycheck and it has a YTD of hours worked. Or you can see all of your pay stubs on UPSers.com and add up the hours. I'm doing all of these and the numbers are coming up showing I will have my 1801 hours before Oct. 1. And that week is the 40th week. So..I can still make Sept. 19 my last work day and then go on vacation and set Sept. 30 as my retirement date and
I will receive my first check on Oct. 1. Hallelujah!! None of my vacation days after Sept. 30 will count toward my 1801 hours, but I should be over the threshold and not need them anyway. That's great news.
On the down side, I have a buddy who made his initial call to the UPS/IBT Full-Time Pension Plan (1-800-643-4442) last week to get the forms to request an estimate of his benefits and he was told that UPS pays for the month past and would pay a partial month. So if he retired on Nov 5, his first check Dec 1 would be for the 25 days in November and then on Jan 1 he would get a check for Dec and so on. Aghhhh.
I immediately called my case worker and she reassured me that this is not true. They pay for the month ahead and they never pay for a partial month. So I told my friend to call
again and see if they give him the same story as before and if so to ask for a supervisor and get the information verified. They would not send me the information in writing, they said I had to request a Summary Plan Description of the Retirement Plan and that ain't free and it ain't cheap either.
So that incident points up an important thing to remember. Going into retirement takes planning and it takes work. Do your homework. Make a file at home and if it isn't an inch thick before you retire than you haven't asked enough questions.
Now that I've decided on Sept. 30 as my "termination date", I am less than 3 months from retiring and I can request the official retirement application forms. I will do that today and report back next month after I have sent in my Official Application for
Retirement.
Guilty as Sin
UPS likes to take drivers into the office and tell them that they have vioalted the methods or violated the contract and that they are guilty as sin. Management will use the opportunity to rant and rave about integrity, implying the company has lots and the driver has none.
But in reality, the company violates the contract every day. They can't see their own shortcomings, or they don't want to, because violating the contract works to their advantage.
Here are just a few ways that UPS is guilty of violating the contract.
 Art. 17...The Employer will not allow employees to work prior to their start time without appropriate compensation. Every center has drivers who come in early and go through their cars. The company ignores it because it's cheaper than paying them to go through their cars.
Art. 3.....The Employer agrees that the function of supervisors is the supervision of Employees and not the performance of the work of the employees they surpervise. Anybody who doesn't think the company violates this provision on a daily basis is deaf, dumb and blind. UPS is probably vioating this article somewhere in the world as you read this.
Art. 37...The Employer shall not in any way intimidate, harass, coerce or overly supervise any emplyee in the performance of his or her duties. Like this never happens!
Art. 21.....nor shall there be any discrimination against any employee because of union membership or activities.That means there shall be no retaliation for filing a grievance. If you don't think the company violates this article, file a grievance tomorrow and watch what happens.
These are just a few of the areas where the company is guilty of violating the contract. I could list more but my doctor has advised me to avoid thinking about things that skyrocket my blood pressure. But the next time management gets up on their high horse and talks down to you, point a few of these things out. If you read your contract book, I'm sure you will find a few of your own also.
UPS Driver Wins Accolades for Saving a Life
It was a normal Friday afternoon for Mark Northrop as he made his way along his UPS route in the Noblesville area. But this particular Friday afternoon last fall, would be different than any Friday before.
It was around 2 p.m. and Northrop, from Boone County, was in a hurry. After all, it was Friday and he just wanted to get home to be with his family.
Northrop made one of his stops, at the home of Jack and Patty Swank. It was a stop that he was used to making, nothing out of the ordinary.
UPS driver Mark Northrop was honored by Sen. Dick Lugar for helping save the life of Noblesville resident Jack Swank. Steven Furlow / sfurlow@noblesvilledailytimes.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
“I’ve seen (Jack) out and about, and he’s pretty active for an older guy,” Northrop said. “He’s always out doing something — spraying the driveway or something.”
Northrop made his way to the Swank house and to a screened-in porch where he always steps inside to lay the Swank’s packages on a table.
In the 10 to 15 seconds that Northrop said it took to walk up to the house, set the package on the table and return to his truck, he noticed something — something out of the ordinary.
 “I glanced through the door and I saw his leg from the knee down,” Northrop said. “I didn’t know what he was doing. I’ve never seen him down there before like that.”
Northrop said he assumed that Swank was taking a nap or watching television.
“As I’m walking out, I hear this beeping sound going off,” Northrop said. “I’m in a hurry, not really paying attention, but I catch these things out of the corner of my eye — I see him on the floor, I hear the noise, then I’m back out the door and to my truck.”
Northrop wasn’t sure what the beeping sound was and thought, “What if it was a smoke alarm? What if he was asleep?”
That was when Northrop jumped back out of his truck and returned to the door that enters the house from the porch.
“I thought, ‘I’m going to go wake him up and at least make sure it’s not a smoke alarm,’” Northrop said. “I run back up there, I knock and I can see him, but he doesn’t move, so I open the door up.”
At that point, it was obvious to Northrop that Jack Swank had passed out. He had fallen over a table and was against a couch with his glasses knocked to the side.
Swank, 72, has been a diabetic for the past 30 years.
“It’s not good when you’re unconscious and you’re a diabetic,” Swank said. “Some people go into a diabetic coma and don’t come back.”
Swank said he was in insulin shock — a condition that hits diabetics when they don’t eat the right things or when they don’t exercise correctly.
Once Northrop realized that Swank was breathing, he began running through the house to figure out what the beeping noise was. It was an alarm that had been set to remind Northrop to take medication.
“If that beeping wasn’t going off I probably wouldn’t have gone back into the house,” Northrop said. “That was the one thing that just caught me.”
Northrop dialed 911. Once the emergency personnel arrived, Northrop hopped back in his delivery truck and finished his route. Swank’s wife was at work that day as a school teacher in Noblesville. She wrote a letter to UPS explaining to them what Northrop had done for Jack Swank.
Northrop was honored by Sen. Dick Lugar along with two other UPS workers for the service they’ve done while on the job.
“We all got special awards, and Mr. Lugar was there to hand them out to us,” Northrop said. “It was special for my kids to see me and know that daddy did something good and they can learn that nothing but good comes from doing good.”
“I appreciate what he did very much,” Swank said. “What can brown do for you? It did a nice thing for me.”
Jim Johnson
Lebanon Reporter, For The Daily Times
The Cost of Doing Business
How does one driver wrack up $15,800 in parking tickets?
Just ask UPS.
 A veteran deliveryman who is either very unlucky or very reckless, or a little of both, has accumulated the most tickets in San Diego over the past five years. The driver, who United Parcel Service declined to name, has received 351 tickets on his downtown route in that period. Many were issued at one of his key stops on B Street at Fifth Avenue, just outside the parking enforcement program's downtown office.
The driver has been ticketed three and four times in a single day for parking in passenger-loading zones.
For years, UPS' ubiquitous brown vans have produced plenty of green for the city.
UPS pays about $2,000 a month in parking fines for its San Diego drivers, said company spokeswoman Ronna Branch.
That's relatively low, considering UPS drivers in New York City have collected about 15,000 tickets a month – close to $10 million in fines – in a recent year.
When customers expect fast service, “we see it as the cost of doing business,” Branch said.
SignonSanDiego.com
Service Provider
 One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner,
coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the UPS man comments. Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild." "Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responded.
"Your name came up seven times..."
My UPS Man
As a single mom, my very first crush was on my local UPS man.
The first time I darted into the elevator with him, I was clutching my nine-month-old daughter on my hip. I squeezed in beside him, just inches away from his tight muscular arms. Thanks to his massive rolling cart, it was a tight fit for all of us. His sleeve was rolled up on his forearm, and I stole a glance at his bicep.
When the door opened on the fourth floor, no one moved.
"Excuse me, isn't this you?" he asked, pointing out the door.
"Oh!" I woke up, realizing that, yes, we did live on the fourth floor.
As I stepped off the elevator, I realized that he knew where we lived. Did that mean he'd actually noticed me before?
 My face was burning hot as I walked down the long corridor to our apartment. I was thinking of the two of us stuck inside the elevator one afternoon, with the doors shut and no way to get out. No one would go for the "Emergency" button. No one would scream for help.
With these kinds of hot thoughts, it was no wonder that I was still thinking about him when I walked into my apartment. My daughter wanted to nurse, and I sat on the sofa, daydreaming. On a sun-drenched day, I'd be pushing my daughter in the stroller and she'd fall asleep without a fuss. Sure enough, there was the big UPS truck . . .
On the sofa, my daughter pulled away from my breast and milk squirted onto the pillow. She laughed. My fantasy was now over. Back to reality.
But the truth was: I was longing for some affection.
My daughter was satisfying all my maternal needs; I loved her unconditionally. But who was satisfying my need for companionship, and let's face it, for intimacy? It's no secret that being with a partner made me less anxious, more confident, and just plain happy.
So, where was he?
Being in a relationship with the UPS man seemed like the perfect solution to my present loneliness. I wasn't ready to date again. That was too daunting. But how convenient would it be to have this man arrive on my doorstep, the goods delivered as promised?
If only it was that easy. There would be a knock, and I'd open the door to find this gorgeous hunk standing there in his cotton brown uniform. I'd never have to leave my apartment; he would simply show up.
***
The next day, my doorbell rang and I pushed the "Talk" button on the intercom.
"Who is it?"
"UPS."
I'd forgotten all about ordering a used copy of Anne Lamott's "Operating Instructions" as a ploy to see him as soon as possible. But now I was panicking. I was wearing a stretched-out tank top, Levi's cut-offs and no make up. I quickly pulled the rubber band out of my hair, letting it down over my shoulders, and opened the door.
"Gosh, it's hot!" he said, extending his arm to give me the signature pad.
 "It sure is!" I agreed, as my cheeks flushed.
"I've lost count of how many water bottles I've downed today."
I wondered if he was giving me a hint, and I jumped on it: "Are you thirsty? Would you like some lemonade?"
"Oh, no thank you," he said politely, handing over my package.
"It's really no trouble," I pushed. "I have some cold lemonade right here."
It just so happens that I had a carton of Newman's lemonade in the fridge.
"Well, why not?" he said, taking a step forward.
"Are you allowed to come in?" I whispered.
"Not really," he whispered back. "As long as the boss doesn't see."
He took one large stride into my apartment, and I quickly shut the door behind me.
I dropped the brown package from Amazon on the coffee table next to my daughter, and rushed around the corner to the kitchen. My fingers were shaking as I searched the cupboard for a clean glass. Maybe he was my special delivery, my parcel of love. Maybe it was this simple, to just open the door and find my destiny standing there.
A minute later, I was back.
"Cold lemonade," I said, offering the glass to him.
I watched him tip the lemonade to his lips. The ice cubes clinked together.
My soul was singing: The UPS man is inside my house, the UPS man is inside my house . . .
He clutched his signature board with one hand, and his glass with the other. I was content to stay here forever, next to this good-looking hunk of a man, listening to him gulp my lemonade.
I noticed his forearm, how tight his muscle was right between his wrist and elbow. I thought about what I'd do after he was gone, how I'd re-fill this glass with lemonade and drink it all alone. I'd sip from this glass, his glass, and imagine that I tasted him.
"Mama!" my daughter said from the living room.
I turned my head. "Yes?"
"Milk!" she said, pulling me back from my fantasy and back into Mom World.
Elmo's World was over, and so was my opportunity to flirt.
"I guess she's thirsty, too?" Otis said.
"Yeah," I said, embarrassed because little did he know that when she said "milk," it actually meant she wanted to nurse. She was never a baby who said "noo noo" or "na na;" just plain "milk."
At barely one year old, my daughter was a very articulate and straightforward little girl. Maybe I should have taken some tips from her.
But it was too late. My UPS man was handing the empty glass back to me. He was out the door, on his way to his next delivery.
Rachel Sarah
What Can Brown Do For You, Baby?
Why do women like UPS drivers?
A few weeks ago, I shared an elevator with a UPS driver and a woman. As far as I could tell, we were all strangers to each other.
 The UPS driver spoke of his Army background, how they taught him to make his bed so tightly that you could bounce a quarter on it.
The woman smiled at him and said, with a coquettish tone in her voice, “I have a bed at home you could bounce things on.”
The exchange had me wondering: Why do women think UPS drivers are so hawt? I can kind of understand the appeal of firemen. The job entails a high degree of physical courage and also has a heroic dimension absent from most white-collar office jobs. I can also understand why construction workers inspire some women to stare and drool; construction workers have an uber-manly image that is absent from the realm of the Sensitive New Age Guy.
But the UPS driver? This I don’t get. Some guy shows up in a brown polyester uniform, drops off a couple packages and says “Sign here, please.” Where’s the appeal in that?
Help me out, ladies. I’m confused. Why do women like UPS drivers?
jason's_planet
P.S. There is a simple answer to jason's_planet's question and it's found in this 1995 Wall Street Journal article aptly titled, "In The UPS Man, Some Women Find A Complete Package." My name appears in this article but I still claim that I was grossly misquoted.
George
UPS in the News
 Philadelphia, PA — Saturday was a perfect day for a bike ride. But for a 40-year-old cyclist in Southwest Philadelphia, the activity almost turned deadly.
As a man was riding his bicycle along the 4500 block of Island Avenue just before noon, he and a UPS truck collided.
The driver of the UPS truck stopped and waited for police to arrive.
Spokane Valley, WA -- A United Parcel Service worker was arrested Thursday night for feeding his unknowing co-workers pot-laced brownies.
The employee, who worked at the UPS Distribution Center at 1016 N. Bradley, made the brownies at home and brought them to work Thursday.
Police were called after one of the employees there ate a brownie and got sick. The employee called his girlfriend who took him to a hospital, where he tested positive for marijuana.
The 20-year victim told told police he felt fine before eating the treats and didn't know they contained marijuana. A field examination of the brownies confirmed the presence of marijuana.
Lexington, VA -- A Virginia State Police trooper was injured when a tractor-trailer hit his parked cruiser on Interstate 81 in Rockbridge County.
Sergeant Rob Carpentieri says trooper P.C. Gardner heard the UPS truck drive over the rumble strips just before 7 a.m. Monday and dove into the passenger's seat moments before the truck hit his cruiser. The tractor trailer then hit a guardrail and went down an embankment.
The truck driver was charged with reckless driving. He was not injured.
Idaho Falls, ID -- Two people remain in the hospital tonight following an accident on US Highway 26 East of Idaho Falls Friday night.
A 73 year old man and his passenger were traveling south on 45th East and failed to stop at the highway intersection. They collided with a UPS Semi-truck. The two had to be extricated from their Buick mini-van. The driver of the Semi was not injured.
 Verona, KY -- Two medical helicopters were called to the scene of a head-on collision in Verona, Kentucky.
The accident happened shortly before 1:00 pm on Walton Verona Road (KY 14) at Porter Road.
Two women in a Toyota Corolla were injured and were flown to University Hospital. The driver of the UPS truck was not hurt.
Police say the UPS driver was traveling west on KY 14 and was turning onto Porter Road when the truck struck the Toyota.
San Antonio, TX -- Retired Nascar driver Dale Jarrett was involved in a incident Monday night. Jarrett was involved in a crash involving a UPS truck and a Dodge Neon. It appears that Jarrett was drag racing the UPS Truck.
State Trooper Harry Mullet said that both vehicles appeared to be racing each other, neither driver was injured in the crash however a lawn gnome was destroyed.
This is the third time Jarrett has been cited for drag racing. In November of last year he was given a ticket after he crashed into a Fed EX truck while racing down a busy San Antonio street.
New Richland, MN -- Minneapolis Airport Police Officer brought a drug-detecting canine to the UPS facility in which a suspicious package was being processed.
The dog was instructed to "seek dope" and sniffed 50 to 60 packages before stopping on one. A Minneapolis Airport Police officer, disguised as a UPS delivery driver, dropped off the package at a New Richland home. Law enforcement then served a search warrant on the home.
 Hyannis, MA -- A twin-engine cargo plane crashed on takeoff at Barnstable Municipal Airport on Wednesday, killing the pilot, who was the only person on board. The plane made twice-a-day cargo flights to Nantucket carrying United Parcel Service and Federal Express packages. It had been carrying a little more than 200 pounds of cargo when it crashed, well below its 3,000-pound cargo capacity
Chester, VA -- Sam White, retired UPS driver, died when a cannonball he was restoring exploded, killing him in his driveway. After growing up in Petersburg, White went to college, served on his local police force, then worked for 25 years as a deliveryman for UPS. He retired in 1998 and devoted most of his time to Civil War relic hunting.
Blog Bits
This is pretty embarassing, but DH just laughed it off. I ordered an 'intimate' item online for a naughty santa gift for some friends. (It's an inside joke). It was set to be delivered Friday, but got delayed because of 'conditions beyond UPS control". It arrived last night with a huge hole in the box.
This is a small item, you could probably fit 200-300 of them in this box, but they had wrapped brown paper all around it. But, not on the side that the hole was. It was half hanging out of the box!!!
I have to face the UPS man EVERY day this week. I think I'll hide in the bathroom! It doesn't look damaged, but I don't think I could possibly file a claim on it.
The sad thing is that I ordered it just so I wouldn't have to buy it face to face with a stranger, LOL!
amyers12345
When my Top Hat amp was delivered I saw the UPS guy sleeping in his truck in the parking lot near my apartment. I started to become extremly paranoid that he might be sleeping out his shift and saving his back from carrying the amp to the 4th floor, and just dumping the responsibility on whatever driver works on his day off. I decided to stop pacing around in anticipation and I just walked to the truck and woke him up. Somehow I ended up carrying the amp up the stairs. I still kinda wonder if that UPS guy had that planned.
thedregsphil
Next time I invite the UPS guy to "Check out the baby," I'll first ensure that she's not currently affixed orally to my wife's left breast.
Merlin Mann
About a month ago I had my wife waiting for an important package with all noisemakers in the house turned off so she could hear a knock on the door. I got home and there was a UPS sticker on the door. Since the UPS guy usually delivers around 5pm, I took off to find him. I found him about fifteen blocks away (big brown van easy to spot on long, straight roads) sleeping on a dead end.
But I cut him some slack since he works 12-15 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Jeremiah
How Things Work
 So, I placed some orders with Amazon.com on Monday. Yesterday one of them arrived via UPS around noon. We usually get our UPS orders late in the afternoon around 6pm, so this was a surprise to me and Oscar. He ran out there acting like a pit bull, growling and carrying on. The UPS man called him "killer".
Then today, UPS shows up again around noon with a package--I go out to get it--Oscar doesn't come out with me and the UPS guy asks "Where is Killer"? About that time I heard a bark and the screen door slam shut. I told him "here he comes!!". Oscar came just a running and barking like a rabid dog.
UPS guy says " I've got something for you Killer" and leans over the fence
to give him a doggie biscuit!! Oscar of course, thinks he is too good and
proud to take something from this gigantic loud sounding truck and it's driver, so he kind of just sniffs it casually and gets it. Then promptly turns around and prances off.
So now, my dog probably thinks UPS truck sound + UPS guy =doggie biscuit for me!!
smalltownlouisianagirl
Big Brown And The Ad FedEx Should Run
UPS has had quite a run thanks to Big Brown. And I give the company kudos for taking the horse that was named after their brand and going all out with sponsorship: sponsoring jockey Kent Desormeaux and plastering Belmont with its signage.
But if I'm controlling sports marketing at Federal Express, their chief rival, I would have been more than giddy on Saturday. I would have had an ad ready for today's USA Today marking the end of the run.
Now, I wouldn't have any rights to run a photo of the horse, but everyone would know what I was talking about.
With the help of our great graphic artist Florence Z., the image here is how I dream the ad would look.
Sure, people could find this somewhat offensive. That I'm not being a good sport. But the bottom line is that FedEx as a brand didn't get the exposure here and an ad like this would generate so much buzz. In today's marketing world--where I believe very little is sticking--being aggressive like this can pay off.
Darren Rovell
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July 2008
